keep this on the downlow.....

i had a guy tell me he was a ninja.

he had to think to himself, " i am going to tell that guy i am a ninja."
i admit on the surface it sounds like a good idea, telling a stranger you are a ninja.i am sure somewhere you get preferential treatment and free food if you are a ninja.
i thought if you were a ninja you had to keep it a secret.
maybe he had just become a ninja and was so excited he had to tell someone.

to ease the awkwardness of the moment, i told him i was a secret agent.
it felt good to get that off my chest.

300 pounds

my new weight loss program is working very well. i buy big clothes that look obviously loose and it looks like i lost weight. the program is called " fat clothes, skinny guy " although the program works very well in the winter , it's hard to pull off in the summer. coming soon is the" bruce's BIG not tall " men's store.

dead tongues

when someone dies their head rolls to one side and their tongue falls out.if you see someone who looks like this they are dead. no need to check for a pulse, they are dead.

rockstar-inxs>american idol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2D-at18Wyo

jordis unga. THE house band. nate morton THE drummer. real rock. the only question is why would you want to win and be the lead singer for inxs? are you really the winner? ask jd fortune.

jordis is now in a band called angels of mass destruction.intense and funny.